Don't be a Dick.

Men+Men and Women+Women,

Many of you no doubt watched Dick Cheney on CNN recently, angrily giving Wolf Blitzer a dressing down when asked about his pregnant (lesbian) daughter, Mary. "Yes!" many of you may thunder. "What business is it of this small, hairy man to delve into the "private pregnancy" of a beloved politician's daughter?!" Hmmm.

Well, fellow citizens, our fine vice president (supported by over 17% of Americans in some approval polls) is of course part of the Republican party and has consistently supported many of its most conservative platforms. While Mr. Cheney does NOT support a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage (he says that should be left to the states), he has never spoken out about the very issue Mr. Blitzer wished to discuss. Hey, follow me to paragraph 3!

Despite all evidence to the contrary, the conservatives in this country screech over and over again that a child is best served by a father AND a mother. They also claim that the children of gay parents are more likely to be gay themselves (so?) and that gay people are more likely to molest children. But virtually every major psychological study has firmly refuted these hysterical claims. In fact, the children of gay parents, on average, grow up to be just as well-balanced (or damaged) as those of straight parents!

The conservatives also claim that "gay marriage threatens the sanctity of straight marriage." Oh, really? Then why is it that the only state permitting gay marriage (Massachusetts) has the lowest rate of divorce among heterosexual couples in America? Further, of the eight states with the highest divorce rates, ALL of them are red states. By cracky, there seems to be some inconsistencies here!

The conservatives do make one true (but easily dismissed) point: The children of gay parents have a tougher time growing up in this society. But of course that's also true of mixed-race children and no one is calling for a ban on interracial marriage! And the conservatives, similarly, also don't want gays to serve in the military because it will be "disruptive to the force." Also true, but the exact same thing was said 70 years ago about allowing African-Americans to serve side-by-side with whites in the military. It WAS disruptive due to intolerance and ignorant viciousness. As a nation, we should not reward discrimination by endorsing its continuation!

But I digress. If Mr. Cheney remains silent about the above issues, if he never denounces the angry words regarding gays raising children, then he should expect questions such as Blitzer's. As a conservative who stays silent on such an issue it should be concluded that he is in lock-step with the majority of his strict peers. So when Wolf Blitzer wishes to ask Mr. Cheney's feelings about 2 lesbians (one his daughter) raising a child he certainly is NOT "over the line," as Cheney menacingly warned. No, Mr. Cheney it is you who is over the line. When you remain silent while discrimination is supported by your peers then you are an "enabler." You have a tremendous bully pulpit (perfect for an unpleasant bully) to stand up for people just like your daughter on this issue and you choose to do nothing. You, Mr. Chicken Hawk, are out of line. And, blissfully soon, out of office.

But I am quick to forgive, sir (especially given that my phone calls and mail may be monitored). To show you my warm nature, I am forwarding a dozen chicken-fried steaks (lathered in butter), 4 pounds of french-fried potatoes, 3-dozen eggs, and several quarts of rich lager. Enjoy, sir, enjoy, and don't hesitate to consume these delicacies as quickly as humanly possible!


Straight, not narrow,
Paul "Paul" Rosa

P.S. And, by the way, shame on Mary Cheney for selling out and making a career for herself in the Republican party. Kissing ass to make a buck is something that we've all done but to accept pay from an "organization" who considers you an immoral sinner seems the worst sort of humiliation. Enjoy the money, Mary! Perhaps you can line the baby's crib with sturdy Ann Coulter books!