Paris Hilton. She's pretty. She's rich. She's whip smart. She is in possession of a cracklin' wit. She's earned everything she's ever received. And there are still those among us (like Dieter and Sherry) who detest her and want her to do hard time (a decade or more) for poor driving. Well, I for one shall not stand insolently by as one of my fellow citizens is spit upon, again and again, until the saliva drips from her trendy clothing like so much excessive dripping clothing saliva.
We all know Paris' parents, Ken and Marjorie Hilton, the founders of the hugely successful Marriott chain of hotels. These well-run "inns" dotting our spectacular interstate landscape, from Newark to points outside of Newark, feature crisp, clean sheets, delicious cool tap water and complimentary bathroom towels. Ask the maid for an additional ("trial size") bar of soap and guess what? You'll GET it. Now how many of our nation's hotels come through in this fashion, time and time again? "ALL OF THEM" you may counter but you'd probably be missing the point. 'Nuff said.
Some unsavory types (often from Oregon) would whine, "But Paris never earned anything at all!!" Oh, really? Well, when the first Marriott opened in Dayton, OH in 1987, five-year-old Paris and her sister (Doris) routinely helped to clean the rooms, change the air-conditioner filters, and scare defecating ducks away from the tiny swimming pool. It wasn't until 1992 that the 3-story, rundown hotel began to turn a modest profit and, in the ensuing two decades, over 2,200 sparkling franchises appeared across our land.
Is it not logical that, if young Paris worked so hard on the very first hotel, she should share in the incredible resulting wealth? Well, I don't know. It's not my job to "know" but in fact to excite and stimulate. You see, friends, I am skilled at presenting salient points and then stepping back, as if to say, "Why don't you folks debate it all among yourselves and come to your own conclusions." I believe it was John F. Kennedy who said, "Give a man some fish and he eats for a day but loan him your fishing gear and, well, who knows what can happen and stuff." And then he was shot in the head near Houston by a man. A nation grieves still.
So Paris, who enjoys the high life in Hollywood, New York, and San Bernardino, made a few mistakes. No one thinks it's okay to drive poorly. No one believes that a beautiful young woman has any right to change the rules of the road or place traffic signs at a height only she deems optimal (say 3' 4"). NO one is saying that here!! A fair punishment is in order. On that we can all agree. 45 days in jail has been deemed proper by a certain Judge Sendrickson. And Paris shall indeed serve the 45 days (minus time off for good behavior and other relevant matters).
And so she shall emerge in 4-6 days a stronger, more evolved woman, lesson learned. The hard way. And we can all again look forward to her pouty ways and her fetching catwalk struts as the world's best designers drape her lithe, feline form in cottons and other fabrics which aren't cotton. In the meantime, as she stoically serves her sentence, we can go to the YouTube (on the WorldWide Nets) and enjoy her past devilish utterances of "she's hot," "he's hot," "they're hot," or perhaps "that's hot." Hot indeed, Paris. City of lights. Or is that Stuttgart? Either way. Not my job to find out.
In conclusion, whether it's Lindy Loshan, Brittney Speer, or Valerie Bertinelli, we must never stop cherishing our hot young women, those who invigorate our loins and challenge our minds with the words which come from their mouths. Never forget that our young heroes serving in Iraq are (above all) protecting our freedom to pursue the adoration of countless Hollywood starlets and, yes, heartthrobs. NEVER FORGET that (at this writing) 3,506 young Americans have sacrificed their lives to prevent the Taliban from covering up these vixens with ill-fitting tarps and unwieldy beekeeper helmets. If we give up on this epic struggle the terrorists, just like that, shall win and the starlets shall lose. And if that happens, ladies and gentleman, we as a country lose. And that country is the United States of America (The USA).
It's worth protecting.
-Paul C. Rosa